2015 Goals Series: Finish My Novel

This post is part of the 2015 Goals Series, where I'll share my goals for the year, why they are important to me, and how I plan to accomplish them. You can follow along here. 

karindalziel

This goal is definitely the most stressful, yet the most life changing for me.  And it is the one I have been avoiding the most.

Hi all.  This is the last post in the 2015 Goals Series.  Thanks for sticking with me.

So, even as I'm sitting down to write this, I feel my core start to tighten, and I start to feel my usual urge to run away when things get tough.  I feel the urge to give up, but at the same time I know that this is what I'm meant to do.  So giving up is not an option.  Sometimes I think, if it's so hard for me, then maybe it's not meant to be.  But almost before I can get that thought out, something inside me screams, "YOU CAN DO THIS!"

The last, but not least, of my goals for 2015 is to finish my first novel.  Well, not exactly finish, but make great headway.

It all started when I first attempted NaNoWriMo in 2003.  I don't even remember where this story idea came from initially, but it has grown to be such a part of me it almost seems real.  I have dreams about it to this day.  I just played around with the idea for a couple of years (I did not successfully finish that 2003 NaNoWriMo), but it did not really pull at me until the beginning of 2006.

In late 2006, my life had become a bit tumultuous.  I had lost my dad suddenly just months before, my marriage was ending, and I was unsure of what to do next.  My writing had become extremely important to me, and I picked up on my novel idea.  I suddenly felt an extreme need to finish it, like time was running out.  I became obsessed with it.  Soon I had in my head that it would be a good idea to quit my job and take three months to finish my book.

I quit my job.  I was the Firm Administrator of a CPA firm, where I had worked for 11 years.  I had a corner office.  And I left it.

I know we're not supposed to have regrets in life, but that's one of mine.

So I left my job, with plans to live off my 401K until I could finish my book and have it published, and then I would go back to work temporarily until I made my millions.

What a foolish, foolish girl I was.

I did manage to squeak out a first draft of 50,000 words.  I was really proud of that, and still am.  But as far as having a publishable product, I failed miserably.  It was a bad move financially (obviously) and totally crushed my confidence as a writer.

Fast forward to now, and I am ready to give it a go again, but without all of the silly sacrifices.  

I still feel like I am struggling with the self-confidence in a big way, but I'm determined to overcome that.  The time has come for me to stop worrying about what other people would think of my story, and just get it written.  The first draft was, um, a shitty first draft.  So much work has to be done, it's overwhelming.  

But I'm doing to do it.

So, I have a plan for finishing this book, but it won't happen until next year, according to my calculations.  However, I can get a boatload of work done this year.

Here's my plan:  

1. Prepare story outline. (1 outline)
2. Prepare chapter outlines. (35 outlines)
3. Prepare chapter blueprints. (35 blueprints)
4. Edit chapters. (35)
5. Prepare final draft.

Steps and timeline:

1. Prepare story outline in one week. (1 week)
2. Prepare one chapter outline per week. (35 weeks)
3. Prepare one chapter blueprint per week. (35 weeks)
4. Edit one chapter per week. (35 weeks)
5. Hand off book to Mom to read and comment. (4 weeks)
6. Prepare final draft of novel. (2 weeks)

112 weeks total = 28 months

So, you're probably wondering, where in the heck do I come up with this.  What in the world are chapter blueprints, blah blah blah?  

That's for another blog post, but it's a technique I learned long ago from Steve Manning, before I even started working on this book.  I've used it for many smaller projects, mostly for work, and found that it really is fool proof.  I'll write a more comprehensive post on it soon.

The technique is fool proof, as long as you do the work.  That is something I have not done with this book.

But this year that will change.  I'm determined.  I have to, right?  I have this fear that I will die before I finish it.  I would go to Heaven really unhappy if that happened.

I'm sorry this was so long.  It could have been longer, believe me.  This is a subject that is so close to my heart.

Do you have a project that is pulling at you?  I'd love to hear about it.  It would be helpful to know that I'm not the only one.  :)

Thanks again for reading. 

2015 Goals Series: Daily Blogging

This post is part of the 2015 Goals Series, where I'll share my goals for the year, why they are important to me, and how I plan to accomplish them. You can follow along here.

Kristina B

Hi there!  Thanks for joining me as we continue with my 2015 Goals Series.  

Yesterday we started with my reasons for setting goals for 2015 in the first place, and shared a little bit about what hasn't worked for me in the past.  For the next several days, we'll explore each goal individually.  

Today we'll delve into my goal to publish a daily blog post.

I've had this blog for a long time -- since April 17, 2010.  There have been several attempts like this one to jump start the blog, but over the past four years I have published only 89 posts.  I immediately start to chastise myself for that, but no more.  This is a new beginning, and you know I love new beginnings!

In order to really solidify this goal, I took some time to really think about why it is important to me. Why do I feel the need to publish a blog post every single day?  The answers to that are pretty clear to me now.  

I want to develop the habit of writing every day.  

I want my Muse to know that when I sit down with my laptop and cup of something hot, I mean business and am ready to work.  If I leave a day or more in between writings, then that just leaves the door open for skipping another day, and then another day, and then before I know it a month has gone by.  They say that it takes 21 days two to eight months to develop a habit.  If I'm able to keep the daily writing thing going for twelve months, I should be set!

I want to practice the craft of writing.  

As you saw in yesterday's summary, another one of my goals is to finish writing my novel.  These days I can't even pretend to put together any kind of coherent story, because I'm so dreadfully out of practice.  Writing every day, even if it's not related to my novel, will eventually prepare me for getting back to my novel.  Practice makes perfect!

I want to share my knowledge with others.

I have learned a little about a lot of things in my forty-plus years on this Earth.  A lot of what I have learned has come from the internet.  I really love to share what I know, and if the information I have to offer can help just one person, I will be a very happy girl!

Finally, I want to build a community.

I'm not the only one who has learned a little about a lot of things.  We all have, and we all have information to share and contributions to make.  I would love to build an online community of friends who are interested in similar things.  It will be hard to resist all of the growing and sharing!

My plan for accomplishing this goal is pretty simple.  I'm going to write here every day.  Don't worry, I'll work hard to provide interesting content, although I hope you'll forgive me for the occasional meaningless ramble thrown into the mix.  I do have an extensive list of posts and topics under my belt, which is great news!  I will try to develop a bit of a schedule so you'll know what to expect and when, but that won't be written in stone.  I believe it's good to shake things up once in a while!

So, there you have it.  I'm really excited about starting out fresh, and I'm feeling really motivated. And this is post number three under my belt.  Only 362 to go!

How many of you have a blog?  Do you have any tips for keeping up the momentum?

Thanks for reading. :)

On the Meaning of Lent and Giving Up Facebook

Tonight at midnight marks the first day of Lent.  For those who do not know about Lent, it is the spiritual time for Christians that spans the 40 days before Easter.  It is a time of reflection and repentance, moderation and sacrifice.  It is a time to reflect on the life of Jesus Christ and the mark he left on the world.

I was born and raised a Catholic, but fell away from the church in my adult life.  Some would say I am a "non-practicing Catholic."  Mind you, I in no way fell away from God, and in fact I feel a stronger spiritual connection now more than ever.  I just fell away from the Church.  But that's another story for another day, and is not really important in this context.

What is important is that the Easter season is my favorite "spiritual" season.  Next to Christmas, of course.  :) 

During Christmas, I am always excited and rejuvenated.  I enjoy thinking about and celebrating the birth of Jesus.  I feel like a kid again during the Christmas season, because I am reminded of all of the traditions my Mother started for us while we were young, and the new traditions that were started as we grew older.  It's a time filled with family and friends and traditions, and is generally a very happy time for me.

Easter, on the other hand, is more of a reflective time.  I tend to go inward, and think more about my spiritual life and my relationship with God.  It is a somber time as I remember the horrible punishment Jesus endured, and how poorly he was treated, and how he was ridiculed and discriminated against.  I get very sad when I think about how alone he must have felt.  Yes, he was the Son of God, but he was also a human being.  And the pain he endured, both mentally and physically, must have been unbearable.  And then I am reminded that there are many in our own neighborhoods who are experiencing the same kind of emotional and physical pain today.  It is all very sad, really, and makes me extremely grateful for the life I have.

So, getting back to Lent, it is a tradition for me, as for many Christians, to "give something up" during Lent.  It is supposed to be something that is very hard to do, and will be very uncomfortable.  Usually I try giving up chocolate, or swearing, or some other superfluous thing.  And usually I can't make it to Easter.  Forty days is like an eternity for me to try to do something consistently.  Heck, I can't even succeed with seven-day whitening strips!

This year, though, I want things to be different.  I need things to be different.  I'm not a young chick anymore.  I'm getting older, and each year goes by faster and faster and faster.  I'm spending too much time on unimportant things, and not enough time on the things that mean the most to me.  I am busy with work and family, and I'm not spending the extra time I have on the things that are most important to me.  I'm so, so afraid that I am going to reach the end of my life and be filled with regret.

So this year I am going to do something different.  I am going to give something up for Lent, but at the same time I am going to honor myself by doing something for me.  For forty whole days.  Some may say that this is not the "proper way to honor God," but I would disagree.  How best to honor God then by honoring myself, who was made in His own image?

So here's my plan for Lent:  I'm giving up Facebook.  For forty whole days.  I'm not going to visit Facebook to see what my friends and family are up to, I'm not going to visit Facebook to play the time suck that is Candy Crush, and I'm not going to post status updates.

I will, however, use that time to write and reflect.  And some of that writing will include daily updates here on this blog.  Trust me, I spend a LOT of time on Facebook, so there will be much time to spare.

In some eyes, this might seem inconsequential and not really a sacrifice at all.  But you have no idea.  As I said, I spend a lot of time on Facebook, and zero time writing.  Which is my passion, and what I feel my Soul wants most to do.  Giving up Facebook will be very hard.  Making myself sit down to write will be very hard.  I don't hold much self-discipline, so this will be a true test for me.  But I really want to do it, because I feel that it holds some real value for my life.

So, as of midnight tonight, I'll be away from Facebook.  (That's just a little over three hours!  Eek!)  And I'll plan to go back on Easter Sunday.  Maybe.  I may find out at the end of this exercise that my priorities have shifted, and that growth will have occurred.  That is my prayer.

I invite you to follow along on this journey of mine.  You can subscribe to this blog over there in the side bar -- you can subscribe for email updates, or RSS feed updates.  Or you can just add journalkeeper.com to your favorites and check in every day.  It's up to you!  But I hope you'll join me either way.  I have a feeling I will need LOTS of encouragement.

Thanks for reading.  Be well.

reverb10: Moment

Kara Allyson

This is part of a series of posts for Reverb10 -- an online event to promote reflecting and manifesting. To read all of the posts in this series, just click on the "reverb10" tag over there on the right.

Moment

It's been hard for me to come up with the one moment this past year when I felt most alive.  For the most part, I have been in survival mode, just doing what needs to be done to get the bills paid and get out of bed every morning.  That makes me sad, and more determined that I will not go through another year like that again.

I can say easily, though, that I feel most alive when I am writing, even if I am just venting and cursing in my journal.  Something happens when I put a pen to paper, and even most times when I am working at a keyboard.  I lose myself in what I am writing.  Everything around me gets quiet and I become laser-focused on my words.  I get absorbed and time goes by in a flash without my knowing it.  It doesn't really matter what I am writing -- a journal entry, an article, or a novel scene.

That's why I know that my purpose here is to write.  I have loved to write for as long as I remember, and love it to this day.  I not only love it, I need it.  I need to write, and if I go for periods without it I am left with an empty and unsatisfied feeling.

So here's to thousands of more words that take me to new and exciting places!

On Being an Imposter

abbyladybug

Here in our part of the world it's just too darn hot to go outside to do anything.  I'm not even going to check the mail until after the sun goes down.  Summer's performance so far this year is causing it to move to the bottom of the list of my favorite seasons.  Autumn can't get here soon enough for me.

Today I am taking some time to catch up on Google Reader items.  I currently subscribe to 42 blogs, although that number changes frequently as I find others to follow, or decide to unsubscribe to one because it no longer suits me.  Anyway, I came across a post on the Procrastinating Writers blog that rang especially true for me. 

Kate Kennedy wrote about the "Imposter Syndrome."  She wanted to write, but was hesitant to call herself a writer.  How could she compare herself to those who were successfully pushing out volumes of work?

Absolutely everything she wrote was like a mirror image of my psychological self.  I have made several attempts at writing:  articles, blog entries, and even my first novel.  Yes, I've published a handful of articles for a content mill.  Yes, I've written posts for my own blogs.  And yes, I've even finished the first draft of my first novel.  But I haven't gotten much further than that.  I always run into road blocks.  And then I am left with friends and family asking me, "Hey, when are you going to publish another article?" or "I've noticed you haven't written a blog post in a while," or "When am I going to get to read that novel?"

So although I feel like writing runs through my veins -- I think about it all the time, I read about it all the time, I WANT to write -- I don't feel like I can call myself a Writer.  It makes me feel like a fraud.  It would be like someone driving fast on his way to work and then calling himself a race car driver.

So today I am revisiting my commitment to writing.  I am revisiting the reasons why I want to write, and I am even doing some writing, starting with this blog post.  And if I keep it going tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next day, maybe I'll be on my way to earning the title, Writer.



Things I am grateful for this day:
1.  Air-conditioning
2.  Window blinds to keep out the hot sun
3.  My SubZero stainless steel water bottle filled with ice
4.  My Inspiron Mini Laptop