Saturday, July 24, 2010

On Being an Imposter


Here in our part of the world it's just too darn hot to go outside to do anything.  I'm not even going to check the mail until after the sun goes down.  Summer's performance so far this year is causing it to move to the bottom of the list of my favorite seasons.  Autumn can't get here soon enough for me.

Today I am taking some time to catch up on Google Reader items.  I currently subscribe to 42 blogs, although that number changes frequently as I find others to follow, or decide to unsubscribe to one because it no longer suits me.  Anyway, I came across a post on the Procrastinating Writers blog that rang especially true for me. 

Kate Kennedy wrote about the "Imposter Syndrome."  She wanted to write, but was hesitant to call herself a writer.  How could she compare herself to those who were successfully pushing out volumes of work?

Absolutely everything she wrote was like a mirror image of my psychological self.  I have made several attempts at writing:  articles, blog entries, and even my first novel.  Yes, I've published a handful of articles for a content mill.  Yes, I've written posts for my own blogs.  And yes, I've even finished the first draft of my first novel.  But I haven't gotten much further than that.  I always run into road blocks.  And then I am left with friends and family asking me, "Hey, when are you going to publish another article?" or "I've noticed you haven't written a blog post in a while," or "When am I going to get to read that novel?"

So although I feel like writing runs through my veins -- I think about it all the time, I read about it all the time, I WANT to write -- I don't feel like I can call myself a Writer.  It makes me feel like a fraud.  It would be like someone driving fast on his way to work and then calling himself a race car driver.

So today I am revisiting my commitment to writing.  I am revisiting the reasons why I want to write, and I am even doing some writing, starting with this blog post.  And if I keep it going tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next day, maybe I'll be on my way to earning the title, Writer.

Things I am grateful for this day:
1.  Air-conditioning
2.  Window blinds to keep out the hot sun
3.  My SubZero stainless steel water bottle filled with ice
4.  My Inspiron Mini Laptop

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